Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
