We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
