we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
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