She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Randomize
