Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
