i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
