Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
