In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
My balls are so social today.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Im just a social blackout drinker.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
