He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
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