drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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