I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
