if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
