Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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