He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Its about making memories worth repressing
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
