Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
