i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
