I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Everyone says I win the strip club
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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