Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
