did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
