"it" just moved
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
