Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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