You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Randomize
