I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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