I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Randomize
