Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
