Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
