I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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