His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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