Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
