definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
