he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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