wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize