My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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