I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
