Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
