I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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