Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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