we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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