Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
