If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
