shes about as inviting as chlamydia
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
