i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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