I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
