If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
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