we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
