if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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