i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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