I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
