remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
