Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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