I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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