SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
