thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
