I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
My ATM looks so different sober.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
He shit in the fireplace
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
