you're like a bully in the Christmas story
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
